byOlabode Abidakun

Only in Nollywood! 

Do not fear, we got you covered on this,

Because it is only in Nollywood you will see absurd unprofessional acts in the nation.

Where guns are made of wood and plastic,

Where nothing seems real,

Welcome to the movie industry where gunshot sounds like knockout bangers!

 

In our industry, a ghost will look left, look right and left again before crossing a highway, funny is it?

Even the subtitles will give you unending head pangs; those are even used for modern day memes in my country!

Nollywood will show a cast who is asleep having heavy make over plastered on her face. As if that's not even enough, please would a long term hospital patient rub heavy make up on her face?

Have you ever wondered why most of Nollywood's ghosts are always on white and rub white powders too, can I ask what the powder is meant for?

I'm so gutted when I see in our movies robbers leaving a crime scene and 10minutes later, the police begin their chase and still eventually catch up with them, how come?

Trying to illustrate an old man, then you paint his face with white soap, depicting his advanced age, do we need that? They pick up the phone to call, and the receiver picks almost immediately, why? Are you calling the customer care service center? To cap it all, they fake the calls and beneath we see home screens underground can we be professional a bit?

I know other movie industries across the continent aren’t perfect as we always see the Hollywood trying to rescue the world but only end up saving America and claiming they saved the world, or Bollywood that thus give extra ordinary film effects, punching a man and the man landing in the next street, yes we know these fictions are too fake to be real, but Nollywood can upgrade and work on their lies, let's make it suitable for us, what is indigenous should be left indigenous and not this dumb code switching that boomerangs, we don't want to hear phrases like "look gooding guys" we believe the industry can revert to the days of TK, Fred Amata that produced legendary movies such as Saworoide, Ti oluwa lo nile, Kosegbe, Owo eje, Blood diamond, Karishika, Crusader,  Isakaba, Glamour girls and several other intriguing, mind blowing movies!

I believe we can do better than what we have soiled our hands with!

Every problem must have a worthy solution; we can go to an higher level if we really want to!

God bless Nollywood!

 

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