byOgundoyin Adewale

Double Standard II

Why is this man so insensitive? It seems as if this man thinks with his “plug”, his logical reasoning must be numb.

So I thought as this real life scenario plays in my imaginations. Giving this a cogitation however, I think Oko mi’s actions in this scenario are born out of this erroneous philosophy that men are the high and mighty in a marriage, that women needs to perform magic, work their asses out, go extra mile because it’s presumed that it is the utmost responsibility of a woman to keep a home or make the marriage work.

In a marriage, it is presumed the role of a woman is to ensure that meal is ready at all times, most times regardless of the situation or circumstances. She should clean the house, wash the dishes, do the laundries, take care of the children, be ready for sex at any time T. All these are termed a woman’s job. Says who?

There is nowhere on earth, in heaven or under the earth that all of these duties are gender specific. It is your home- man and wife for God’s sake, administration of duties in the home should never be prejudiced or with double standards, it must be logical. The man and his wife are equally responsible for the success of their marriages, it is double standard to expect one person to do the impossible to keep the marriage going while the other party is excused to do little or nothing because of their gender. That is a conspicuous bullshit.

Men need to understand that it is in reality their responsibility to build their home, together with the wife. There is an urgent need to audit and critique this faulty philosophy conditioned by society and culture that men are the high and mighty in marriage.

If the man is the better cook, who says he should not be the cook in the house? After all she’s wife not cook

If the man is neater, better at cleanliness and tidying things up, who says he can’t be in charge of the cleaning the house?

Who says taking care of the baby, changing diapers, getting the children ready for school should not be a shared job?

If the wife is better at managing money, the man just don’t know when to think and press the brake, while can’t she be the CFO of the union?

I believe in the principle of marriage where God ordained a man to be the head in a union, however being a head just simply means you give the union a direction, setting it on her course, to fulfill an agreed purpose. It is not an autocratic government, it is more like a democratic government where both parties communicate, express themselves and together set the administration of the house in order, all in love, respect for each other.

I believe now is the time to challenge the status quo, liberation has to come to set this convention bullshit into fairness. It is not my intention to activate rebellion or activism in marriage, rather my call is to the men folk, to critique this flawed philosophy, because deep cerebration on this “double standard” will point out the many imperfections embedded there in. I mean why should it be established, that a wife should be the one to prepare a meal in a situation where, you both work in the same place, assigned similar duties and returned home the same time tired, why? If the wife is cool with it fine, but it should not be deemed her sole responsibility, who says you could not both get it done, or better still, buy a food to eat at a restaurant?

Administrations of duties in the house should never be biased, it should rather be deliberated upon by both parties in logical reasoning, love and respect for each other, I will advise during courtship, before you get married.

This “double standard” philosophy must as a matter of urgency come under the gavel of a reform.



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