I wasn't naive
My only mistake was to trust a friend
Worse, it was to ever have one on whom to depend.
The mask so fit him well, combined with his scent.
One would be convince there are still saints.
He never suggested rough play
He would fast forward the foreplay while he nursed a demon out of display.
His words were soft, his speech were enlightening,
Lightening every dark matter, and breaking every mountain that proves mighty.
It calms the storm in me every time.
Everything was going fine
And we were just having a nice time
Until his look became intense, and words went scanty.
He gently stroked my hair and drew near to kiss me.
I pushed him away and demanded for an explanation.
I guess he wasn't ready to explain anything judging by his actions.
Leaving wasn't an option anymore as he already locked the door,
Yanked me by the hair and pinned me to the floor
I tried to reason with him, but he didn't come with his mind.
I tried to stop him. But he kept yelling "You wanted this"
Terrified to death. He acted as though he was possessed.
A part of him I never saw before - so obsessed.
I swore never to tell anyone.
Take anything but not my virginity.
It's a shame I can't bear till eternity.
He tore me. Used me. Broke me.
And then said "I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me"
How I got home is still muddy
Though clothed, I felt exposed to everybody
Into the far corner of my room, I crawled
I flooded my pillow with ever flowing tears, demoralized
You know the worst thing about betrayal?
It never comes from your enemy, dear.
He stabbed my soul and left me to decay
I tried to shut my mind but the memories wouldn't go away
The door and windows of my room, I shut tightly
Not a ray of light would I allow to pass faintly
For it revealed my horror and shame
In that darkness, I took all the blame
Walking in the streets wasn’t that easy
I talked to myself as if I was crazy
I heard unspoken words
I saw unseen gestures
Every whisper, laughter, or chit chats
Were pointing at my despair
The torment was just too much to bear
In the river of the damned, I bathed my naked soul
The very remains of what he stole
The memories of joy and laughter vanished from the show
And the thoughts of grey hair vacated my mind for Seoul
I dined with Death in the morning
And hung myself in the evening
For I didn’t want to stand a chance
Shortly after, everything went blank like I was in a trance
A bright light shone straight into my eyes
Everything around me was painted white
I saw angels without wings in display
Some, walking around and others were saying “hey!”
My vision became clearer, and I realize it was a hospital
And the doctor’s words came softly,
“We have more to benefit from your life than your death”