byFaith Ajayi

Do You Care? 

When we ask the question 'how are you?' do we ask because we really want to know how the person in question is doing or we ask just to hear the usual 'I'm fine' or I'm good?


The thing is behind some smiles lies tears unshed. People go through a lot, yet they answer I'm fine when asked the above question. They battle with a lot of things and they keep it hidden.


The number of people committing suicide in our society is on the increase. You wonder how someone so full of life, so happy, so jovial could decide to take his/her life. Depression is real. That person smiling is probably hiding a lot behind the smile. We dust up and bottle things up because no one wants to be labelled as weak. It is not weakness to speak out. You're not a coward for letting a friend know what you're going through. As a matter of fact, you're strong, really strong for speaking out because it requires a great deal of strength to do that. Some are scared to talk to anybody about what they're going through because they are scared of the reception they will get.


We're so caught up with our activities that we either consciously or unconsciously neglect one another. As a friend, when was the last time you reached out to your friend? How reliable are you? Can you keep secrets? Can you be trusted?


You listen to people tell others to be strong while they are battling with their own problems. Fine faces hiding 'a not so fine' situations. Situations weighing them down that they can't share with others. Suddenly, all you're left with is their suicide note and that's if they left any. You begin to ask yourself why they didn't reach out to you. Sincerely, where were you when they needed a shoulder?


Therefore, when you ask your friends how they are doing, pay attention, look beyond the 'I'm fine and I'm good' mantra. There lies 'a not so fine' behind some 'I'm fine' 'a sad story' hid behind some smile and 'a bad day' covered with 'I'm good.



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